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THE GLAM SIDE (Sort of! Lots of Wedding Planning)
I am so busy organising this wedding it’s getting stressful. I need a to-do-list! Hasn’t this all been done before?
Yes. And it’s a lot of hard work! It is stressful trying to work out what YOU want, and then coordinating that with your family and friends to make your dreams come true. Here’s a Wedding timetable from other brides. At least it gets you started. Maybe you should show everyone this list so they know why you are so busy! They may offer to help!
You can hire whoever you want to be your crew for the wedding. I’ve included some obligation free links.
12 – 18 MONTHS
_____ Set Wedding Budget
_____ Pick Wedding Date
_____ Decide type of Wedding (Informal or Formal)
Wedding Directories
White Magazine: www.whiteweddingpages.com.au
Hunter Valley Wine Country: www.winecountry.com.au
Vogue Magazine Forum Brides: http://forums.vogue.com.au/forumdisplay.php?f=47
_____ Decide how many guests
_____ Choose Ceremony Site
Parks/Beach Bookings
Gosford City Council: 43258222
$65 max 80 guests, 6 chairs, signing table, no structures.
$125 over 80 guests, unlimited chairs, signing table, marquee, archways, carpets.
Central Coast
Bells at Killcare: www.killcarebells.com.au
Reef Restaurant Terrigal: www.reefrestaurant.com.au
The Boathouse Restaurant: www.theboathousewaterfrontrestaurant.com.au
The Cowrie Restaurant, Terrigal: www.thecowrie.com.au
Onda Restaurant, Terrigal: www.onda.com.au
Cove Cafe, Terrigal: www.covecafe.com.au
Crowne Plaza, Terrigal: www.crowneplaza.com.au
Forresters Beach Resort, Forresters Beach: www.forrestersresort.com.au
Treetops Resort, Avoca Beach: www.treetopsavocabeach.com.au
Avoca Beach Cinema: www.avocabeachpicturetheatre.com.au
Firescreek Winery, Holgate: www.firescreek.com.au
St Fiacre Distillery, Erina: www.st-fiacredistillery.com
Copacabana Surf Club, Copacabana: www.copacabanaslsc.org.au
Hunter Valley
Hunter Valley Gardens : www.hvg.com.au
Peppers Creek Chapel: www.winecountryweddings.com.au
Peterson's Champagne House : www.petersonhouse.com.au
The Great Cask Hall: www.hopeestate.com.au
Bimbadgen Estate Wines: www.bimbadgen.com.au
Churches for Celebrants
Peppers Creek Chapel: www.winecountryweddings.com.au
St Michaels of Wollombi: www.saintmichaels.org.au
St Patricks of Nulkaba: www.stpatricksofnulkaba.com.au
Lovedale Weddings Chapel: www.carmson.com.au
Lower Hawkesbury Wesleyan Chapel: pencousens@bordernet.com.au
_____ Choose Reception Site
See above ceremony sites.
_____ Book Caterer
Mr Catering: www.mrcatering.com.au
_____ Book Photographer:
de lisser photography: www.delisserphoto.com.au
Justin Worboys: www.jwphoto.com.au
6 – 12 MONTHS
_____ Order Wedding Rings
_____ Open joint bank accounts
_____ Decide if you want to do pre-marriage course
Relationship Support Services
Relationships Australia: counselling, pre-marriage: www.relationships.com.au
Getting Married: www.ag.gov.au/www/agd/agd.nsf/Page/Marriage
Relationship support services Gosford – Hunter: www.familyrelationships.gov.au/erinafrc
Prepare-Enrich: non-religious prepare marriage program: www.prepare-enrich.com.au
10 ways to become a better partner: http://familyrelationships.gov.au/www/agd/familyre
Salvation Army: prepare marriage course: www.tuggerahlakes.salvos.org.au/marriage.html
Looking after your relationship - for new parents: http://raisingchildren.net.au
_____ Choose and order Wedding Gown
_____ Book Wedding Transport
_____ Choose colour theme for wedding
_____ Choose bridal party
_____ Choose Bridesmaid Dresses
_____ Plan details of decorations
Order candles/coloured sand: www.rawlight.com.au
Order candles in Sydney: www.thecandlefactory.com.au
_____ Book Florist
The Kissing Tree: www.thekissingtree.com
_____ Book Music if required
_____ Book Celebrant for wedding ceremony
_____ Choose Hair & Make-up Artist
Central Coast
Radiance: www.radianceskincare.com.au
Niche Hair: www.nichehair.com.au
Newcastle
NLC Hair and Make Up: www.nlchairandmakeup.com
_____ Organise Wedding Cake
Bella Cake Creations: www.bellacakecreations.com.au
4 – 6 MONTHS
_____ Organise any legal requirements for living together ( Prenuptial Agreement, Wills)
_____ Organise Bridal Gift Registry if having one
_____ Pick Music for Wedding Ceremony and Reception
_____ Book any decorators or chair hire
Events of Elegance: www.eventsofelegance.com.au
_____ Suggest accommodation for guests coming from outside area
_____ Organise Bachelorette and Bachelor Parties
Candle making party: www.rawlight.com.au
_____ Buy Bridal Accessories
_____ Buy gifts for Bridal Party
_____ Appointment for practice session of Hair & Make-up
_____ Check plans for Wedding Ceremony & Reception
_____ Book Honeymoon
2 – 3 MONTHS
____ Pick-up wedding rings – make sure they fit and are engraved correctly
_____ If changing your name – Order name change kit
_____ Send out Invitations
Eckersleys Art and Craft: www.eckersleys.com.au
_____ Complete legal forms with Celebrant for your marriage
_____ Finalise Wedding Ceremony
_____ Choose ushers for Wedding Ceremony
____ Confirm Florist
_____ Wedding Rehearsal
_____ Confirm numbers with Caterer/Restaurant
_____ Final Fitting for Bridesmaids Dresses & Wedding Gown
_____ Select Suits for Groomsmen
_____ Finalize Wedding Day Schedule
_____ Confirm Transport
_____ Bachelorette and Bachelor Parties
_____ Change mailing address if moving
_____ Consider insurance for wedding gifts
1 MONTH
_____ Telephone guests who haven’t RSVP'd
_____ Choose seating arrangement & prepare name cards
_____ Confirm final details with Bridal party
_____ Confirm final details with Ushers
_____ Double Check Attire and Accessories for Bridal Party & Yourself
_____ Confirm times for Hair & Make-up
1 WEEK
_____ Final Guest count with Caterer/Restaurant
_____ Arrange for Postal Office to hold or forward your email during your honeymoon
_____ Relax – take a long leisurely bath
_____ Re-confirm with Travel Agent or Airlines
_____ Review all seating arrangement with ushers and helpers
_____ Pack for Honeymoon
1 – 2 DAYS
_____ Consider if you need a Manicure & Pedicure
_____ Prepare Final payment in individual envelopes for each Professional
WEDDING DAY – D-DAY!
_____ Hair & Make-up appointment
_____ Get Dressed
_____ Have Fun – It’s your Wedding Day!
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YOUR WEDDING CEREMONY PLANNER (My turn to help out)
Now you’ve thought about how much you have to do, ask me for help. I will make sure you feel confident your ceremony will be what you want. As it says on the web photos, think of me as your Wedding Ceremony Planner.
What do you do on the day?
I will get there 30 mins early. I work with you to find out what you want and supervise your set-up if you need me to. It can be a relief to know there is someone “on the ground” preparing everything for your arrival.
My checklist is to: Assist groom and groomsmen into position. Make sure guests are in close enough and not too far away. I went to another friend’s wedding and it was in the rotunda at King Edward Park in Newcastle. Everyone stood so far away from the rotunda it was like we were at an open air concert. We didn’t hear or hardly see a thing! I make sure that doesn’t happen to you or your guests. I welcome bride and bridesmaids into position and cue music.
Do we need to have a rehearsal?
It’s up to you. If you’re happy with a very informal ceremony and it doesn’t matter if your bridal party looks casual and informal then maybe you don’t need a rehearsal. A rehearsal is always recommended if you are using children in the bridal party. They get really nervous and need to practice walking in on their own. It also helps if they meet me at the rehearsal, as they have to walk down towards me on the day.
We never do your full ceremony at the rehearsal. That’s a once in a lifetime thing! But we do make sure you know where to stand and how to move smoothly in front of everyone. It does look more polished if you know where to go rather than asking for direction on the day in the middle of your ceremony.
A rehearsal is also helpful when we’re going off site to a location such as a headland, park or beach. You do need to tell me where your dream location is. Eg. Do you want the table under the trees, or beside the trees? How far down should we set up? Are there elderly people who can’t walk a long distance? We need to set-up so they can make it.
How do you do the music?
If you aren’t hiring any musicians you can just use my portable audio P.A system and I’ll cue your music for you. I can do it by remote so it looks really professional. You need to give me a CD with your 3 songs at least a week before the wedding. It can take MP3 also.
Why do I need 3 songs?
It’s up to you how much music you want to play. It can be more if you want. Usually you have a song to walk down the aisle, a song whilst signing, and a song to walk back down the aisle.
What about the microphone in the ceremony? Won’t it be in all the photos? How loud is the P.A system for the wedding?
I have a very professional yet fully portable system. You can check it out at www.anythingaudio.com.au/chiayo-focusi-PA.htm. The speaker is only the size of an A4 piece of paper yet it is loud enough for up to 200 guests. I carry it in a little backpack. I picked a system like this with more expensive technology which allows it to be small so I can take it anywhere.
If you want me to go on a bushwalk to the ceremony site I can do it! My microphone is actually even better than the ones in the website photos as I have a new system. The new one is a beige coloured, slimline wire headset. You don’t even see my microphone it just looks like a piece of wire.
Another ceremony of one of my friends which disappointed was when they had to hold their own microphone and read their vows from their booklet. The photographer got no shots of their rings or them saying their vows which he could use. I am conscious to not be in your photos and try to stand to the side.
If you don’t want a microphone at all you don’t need to have one. If you do want one, then photographers have suggested I hold it for you. I have a cordless microphone for you or anyone doing a reading. I always prefer to get you to repeat your vows after me, it’s very nerve wracking trying to read from a book. What if you miss a bit!
How can there be an aisle if it’s outside? It’s not a church.
It’s up to you. If you want to make an entrance we need to pick something which lets you - arrive in style! Some of the ceremonies I was a guest at which disappointed people were because the bride arrived in the car and everyone was still standing up at the carpark of the park headland. It was really undignified. She had to say to people, go down there, I’m coming now. There was no grand entrance. So I’ll talk to you about what you want to do. Maybe an aisle is too traditional. In that case we can even have people in a circle, or at least facing away from you until you arrive.
What kind of signing table is it? What decorations?
I have a table which is slightly larger than most celebrants and designer tablecloth. Have a look at the website photos. There are different themes of ornaments to suit beach and garden themed weddings. They are designer items and save you having to buy them for just one day. When we meet I will show photos of the different looks. Of course you can just have plain white and your bouquet if you prefer.
What are the candle, sand and rose petal ceremonies?
They are gorgeous and very visual so your guests see you performing these rituals. I will explain all this and give you sample ceremonies to read when we meet up. What’s great is we can include family and friends in these rituals too.
What do you wear? Do you always wear a hat?
I don’t have to wear a hat! It’s your choice of course. My outfits range from formal to informal. I have the antique gold suit which is on the main web page, a beach wedding outfit which is more causal and is shown in locations, and other outfits in between these styles.
Except for the beach wedding outfit, they are all neutral colours so that they blend into the background. I think it’s important that celebrants don’t look like they are part of the bridal party or are clashing with your colour theme. I am open to discussing what I wear with you. Another ceremony I went to which disappointed the couple, the celebrant wore a plunging black lace top and her bust is unfortunately in all their photos. Imagine what the signing shots looked like!
THE LEGAL SIDE (Don’t worry I can help you!)
Is there a code of practice for celebrants?
Yes. If you have time it is a good guide to help you pick your celebrant. It actually sets out what can go wrong and says it shouldn’t. It sounds a lot like why I became a celebrant. See what I say on the Meet Maree page. Code of Practice for Marriage Celebrants
What do I have to do legally to get married?
No earlier than 18 months and no later than one month and one day prior to your wedding day a completed Notice of Intended Marriage form has to be done and you have to give me all the relevant paper work. If you want to have a look at the form here it is. Don’t get too concerned I will do this form for you! It’s one of my most important tasks as your celebrant to get it right.
What paperwork do I need?
You will need your birth certificates (originals or an extract). If you have been married and are divorced we need the original of your most recent divorce papers. If your previous partner died we need the original death certificate. We cannot use photocopies. Here’s a link for getting your birth certificate if you were born in NSW: www.bdm.nsw.gov.au
Can I get married if I’ve lost my birth certificate? Can I use my passport?
No. You have to request your original birth certificate from the Registry. In exceptional circumstances you can use a statutory declaration but you can be prosecuted if any false information is given.
I’ve been married more than once and divorced more than once. Do I have to get all those papers?
No. We only need to see the original of your most recent divorce papers.
What if I am going overseas to work and travel and I want to do my marriage forms before I go away?
That’s ok as long as you are getting married within 18 months. If you stay away longer than 18 months the forms go out of date. Then you have to reapply.
Can you shorten the time for doing the marriage forms to less than a month and one day?
You can only do this in special circumstances under the Marriage Regulations 1963. You need special approval from a prescribed authority (your Local Court or officials from the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages). There are five categories in the Regulations:
- Employment–related, or other travel commitments
- Wedding or celebration arrangements, or religious considerations
- Medical reasons
- Legal proceedings, and
- Error in giving notice.
When making a decision, the prescribed authority weighs up the information you provide and may seek additional information as outlined in the Regulations. You should have documentation that supports your request before approaching a prescribed authority.
What if we’ve booked our honeymoon overseas and are just under the one month and one day deadline can we still do the forms to get married? Can we shorten the time?
Unfortunately no. You can only shorten the time in exceptional circumstances. This is not usually something that would qualify. You can contact your Local Court or the Registry for further advice. That’s why you should book your celebrant and do your paperwork as early as possible.
What if my grandfather is seriously ill and we want to get married urgently? And it’s less than the time deadline for the forms?
You have to seek formal approval to shorten the time. You will need medical evidence to support your application. You may get permission as this is a medical request.
What about if we are both from overseas? Or my husband is from overseas but we want to marry in Australia?
That is ok. As you are overseas citizens from another country we can use your passport. Or we could accept your husband’s passport.
What if we have lost our passports, can we still get married?
You should apply for new passports. If this is too difficult, such as records being destroyed in a war torn country then you can do a Statutory Declaration. But you can be prosecuted if anything false is declared.
What if my passport is not in English?
As well as providing your passport you have to provide an official translation certificate in English with a declaration by the Interpreter that is a true and accurate.
What if my divorce papers are overseas and the records are lost?
This is complicated legally. You have to prove you are not married so you can marry again. You need to seek advice from the Attorney General’s Department and the Family Court.
If I’m born overseas where do I go to get my birth certificate, proof of permanent residency or my overseas passport?
You can go to your solicitor, Department of Foreign Affairs, Family Court, your Embassy or Consulate.
Can you accept a photocopy of my divorce papers and Decree Absolute?
No. Only the original can be used.
What if we have delays, can I give you documents on the day of the Wedding?
No. Remember we have to do the Notice of Intended Marriage form at least one month and one day prior to the marriage. I need to see all the originals when we do that form. Also I can’t legally marry you without them! Imagine how stressed we will all be if we find out we have to cancel the wedding on the day because we don’t have the correct document.
If I have to do a statutory declaration who can witness it?
I can witness it for you as long as you sign it in front of me.
Can you help me with certified copies of documents?
Yes. Because I am a solicitor I can certify a photocopy of an original as long as you show me the original as well as the copy. Someone who is just a celebrant cannot do this. Statutory declaration form - 84KB
Can celebrants give my details to other people? Like other wedding services?
Absolutely not. You should report anything like this to the Attorney General’s Department it is a breach of your privacy and of the code of conduct for celebrants.
Can I just use a celebrant for the paperwork and get a relative or friend to do the ceremony?
No. Only a celebrant can perform some parts of the ceremony. There are legal phrases which must be said by a registered celebrant for the marriage to be legal. If your friend did it you would not be legally married. However your friend could do a reading or perform some of the non-legal parts. I am happy to show you how we can do it!
Can you get married overseas?
You have to contact the Embassy or other diplomatic mission of the country concerned. If that country requires you to get a Certificate of No Impediment to Marriage, contact the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade on (02) 6261 3015.
For more information, please visit the Smart Traveller website.
Are commitment ceremonies legal?
The Marriage Act 1961 defines marriage as ‘...the union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life.’ Under Australian law same-sex couples cannot marry. Same-sex marriages entered into under the laws of another country are also not recognised in Australia. it is not illegal to conduct a commitment ceremony for same-sex couples as long as the ceremony does not purport to be a legal marriage
What do we get on the day?
As your celebrant I issue a prescribed Form 15 marriage certificate to you after your wedding as evidence of your marriage. I also prepare three certificates of marriage with your details and you and your witnesses sign all three. Sample Marriage certificate - Civil ceremonies - 708KB
The three certificates are used as follows:
- I have to keep one as your celebrant for my records
- One has to forwarded to the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages for the registration of your marriage; and
- You keep one as the record of your marriage
I also give you a professionally presented copy of your full ceremony.
How old do the witnesses have to be?
They have to be 18 years. You have to provide me prior to the wedding with their full name, including their middle name! They don’t have to be a male and a female, it’s just often people choose a best man and matron of honour.
What if my witness cancels at the last minute?
Don’t panic! We can ask anyone 18 years or over to stand in.
Do I have to change my name after I’m married?
When you are married in Australia a formal Change of Name is not required if you want to take your spouse’s name. After your wedding day you apply to the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages for a certified copy of your Marriage Certificate. This is just like when you applied for your certified Birth Certificate. You can then use this to change documents such as your driver's licence and passport to your married surname.
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